Here we are — the question for Day 5 from the 10Q Challenge. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Refer to the Day 1 post. You can also see the answer to Day 2, Day 3, and Day 4.

Question 5: Have you had any particularly spiritual experiences this past year? How has this experience affected you? “Spiritual” can be broadly defined to include secular spiritual experiences: artistic, cultural, and so forth.

Not really. I believe in an order to the universe. I don’t really know how I feel about the concept of God. I do not feel close to any religion, except for maybe Buddhism, and I have a curiosity about Judaism. I don’t know. Basically the answer is no. Really, this year has been about me as a human and actually living my own life, versus being concerned about a higher power. I figure that will come eventually. No need to force it.

 

Here we are — the question for Day 4 from the 10Q Challenge. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Refer to the Day 1 post. You can also see the answer to Day 2 and Day 3.

Question 4: Describe an event in the world that has impacted you this year. How? Why?

The presidency. I was truly shocked and horrified when Donald Trump won the presidency. I really never thought it was possible for him to win, I thought people were genuinely good and would see that he is awful and hateful and completely incompetent. I misjudged them. I misjudged the character of my fellow Americans, my fellow human beings. I misjudged their level of hatred and the level of contempt they have for others they don’t understand. I used to believe people, at their heart, were generally good. Now, I am just not so sure. And I hate that is how I feel. Because I really, really did believe in the goodness of humanity. But now I don’t, and I feel like some innocence has been lost there.

 

Here we are — the question for Day 3 from the 10Q Challenge. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Refer to the Day 1 post. You can also see the answer to Day 2.

Question 3: Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?

Oh gosh. This is a tough one. There really hasn’t been a milestone. Nothing has happened in the last four years. They’ve been… stagnant. Stuck in a holding pattern, in limbo. Not wanting to be where they are, but also afraid to move forward. My parents haven’t been “together” since July 2013, but they still live together in the same house. They haven’t made any true moves to change that. Sure, they talk about it — but it’s all talk. Nothing has happened. I’m not sure it ever will.

As for how it has affected me, well honestly — I am tired of the drama of it all. I am tired of hearing about how my dad irritates my mom, the lies they tell my sister, how they think she doesn’t know any better even though she is nearly 11. The fact that they say they want X Y and Z but never actually do it. That they’ve said they were selling the house for three years now and it still hasn’t happened. I’m just tired of it. I don’t want to hear about it until they actually make moves. Until then, it’s all just noise to me, and not only do I not believe them, I no longer care. It has never been my concern, anyway. No amount of worrying or guidance or concern has made a difference so far. So at this point, I’m just done. They’re adults. Yes, they have my sister, but she’s just that — my sister. Not my child. I cannot be her parent. I can only be her sister. So the best thing I can do is be there for her, and ignore the rest.